wat is this world coming to?
so for the past couple of months or so there have been plenty of shiat going on in scarborough. i heard about a dude who got shot watching t.v in his own house. okay, so scarborough isn't the safest neighbourhood out there...but wat is? it's not such a big shock to hear about shootings and stabbings, it's life, it happens. for some reason this whole "gang war" in scarborough is causing such a big stir. i know who's involved, i knew once i heard about the first shooting. the second shooting made my suspicions clearer and more accurate. i don't feel scared for some reason. i mean, all of this is happening in my backyard. i use to cut through the same park where drugs are being sold to get to school. my brother's classmate got stabbed walking home from that same park. yet, it hasn't had such a big effect on me.
i read an article today about the people involved. not so much a big shock. i'm glad they caught them...but wat next? i'm 99% sure that the shootings won't stop. these "gang members" are smart, ye they do drugs and shit, but they know wat they're doing. it's sad for the people who are living in the neighbourhood with little kids. i use to think that this place was pretty safe. then highschool kicked in and i found out differently. i'm just waiting for something BIG to happen. this doesn't seem that big to me. my heart isn't racing and i'm not nervous to walk alone. maybe it's been too long since i last stared fear in the eyes that i forgot wat it felt like to be scared.
Posted at 03:29 pm by nessa
been there for me. he's my shoulder to cry, my punching bag, my listening ear, and my safe haven. it's weird cause no one really accepted our relationship to begin with. he's older than me, he's not the same nationality. my family found so many things wrong with him. the only way that we got through it was not caring what they all thought. we made each other happy and found someone who we can talk to and be with.
what i love about Gabe the most is how he loves me regardless of my faults, strengths, and weaknesses. i found my last call of the day. i could sit there in a room with him and not say anything...it would be enough. no one gets that. it may sound super sappy but love isn't about becoming someone elses "perfect person", it's about finding someone who can help you become the best person you can be.
To Gabe
If i can make a very simple wish
I'd wish that you could hear my every thought
so you will see i'm grateful you exist
for everytime you smile, my breathe is caught
when i look far into your eyes
I see an angel staring back at me
Posted at 06:13 pm by nessa
get the feeling that you're the only sane person on earth? think about it. or maybe you're just selfish and look at everything as if you're always right and can never be wrong. i just finished another oh-so-educational week of school and i feel drained. i get my arse up at 6:45am everyday except tuesday in which i wake my arse up at 5am to get to school. i travel along the GO train and then onto a bus which leads me to the front doors of Sheridan College. this week we got called DUMB by our teacher. yes they can be so cruel and believe that they're all powerful cause they hold your grade. which is only what THEY believe you're worth. who cares? it's a fukin' grade. don't let it be your educatinal status because a teachers thinks that's how much you know. don't let them label you like that.
it's weird cause i used to depise school. i was never in class in highschool, i found it boring and honestly i just didn't want to sit there and listen to a teacher talk about things i felt i didn't need at the time. i tried going from 0-60 in a second and i blew it. i tried to skip a step to get to where i wanted to go and i ended up moving back in a way. i of course learned my lesson and here i am complaining about my teachers and taking a course in college that i really never had a desire for. you get where im going with this? i move forward but i let things like my "parents" hold me back. it's been like that my whole life. it sux arse but i was never one to really speak my mind against my parents. i've been giving them free shots at me all these years. i hate it but i'm scared to complain.
and that is where i don't feel like the only sane person on this earth. and i know that it'll only bring me down. story of my life.
Posted at 06:35 am by nessa
